Writing Out Loud

I think that Mary was so centered and so completely graceful the way she lived her life is that she established a extremely close relationship with God. He walked with her every day and I think she had his gift of love that blanketed her. I think that is why she was never afraid, never complained, never questioned why.

After Mary passed away in that hospital in New York the family began it’s stages of grief and sorrow at losing this amazing woman. We all may have our own way to grieve, but on thing all of us had in common is what we had to say about Mary. “She may be the most together, giving, loving, and contributing person I have ever met”. That statement is being shared by all of us and all her friends. All saying the same thing. That is a consensus of agreement. Anyone that has taken some human behavior courses knows that’s the magic formula for establishing truth and reality. Not just a perception. If enough different individuals have the same outlook about someone, then that is final. Cant be chipped away at.

In the immediate days following her passing, I found myself trying to remember what happened last. What was our last conversation? When did I see Mary last? When did I hug her last? All these things I can ponder and I’m very aware I have no regrets. No guilt. Now I dont deserve any credit for that. Thats a gift from Mary because of the way she loved all of us. She loved all of us with her action. Not just words. We know Mary loves each of us unconditionally and pure. I know she knows how much I love her and respect her.

Because my sweet sister lived her life gracefully that she packaged all of us up with being safe and secure in knowing we had unconditional love for her as she did for us. So feeling guilt? Mary made sure that would not be possible.

I think about her two boys. I’m so glad Mary was with us on this planet long enough to lay her foundation for which her two sons will build their entire lives with. The standard that she imposed upon her two boys to do things the right way, be respectful, accept Jesus, do the right thing, will be passed onto her sons kids someday as well.

Lets not forget Mary’s stunning beauty. She was very beautiful. But her beauty was never leveraged for her to take advantage of. No. Mary was more beautiful on the inside and that is what resonated.

Yes I’m sad I wont get to be in the same room as Mary anymore, but she left plenty of herself in my heart that I’m not without her. She gave me all of her and that’s enough to last me a lifetime until I see her again when its my time to pass.

To My Sister…

I’m blessed to call you sister,
I also call you friend;
You’ve loved me unconditionally,
And stood through thick and thin.

You’ve shared my joys and sorrows,
My laughter and my tears.
You’ve been my inspiration,
As we grew through the years.

There’s something God has given us,
That’s more than family;
He’s placed a love for you, my Sister,
Deep down in the heart of me.

By Allison Chambers Coxsey