Writing Out Loud

Well I will be honest.  I’m still getting used to the idea of being 50 years old.  Maybe “getting used to” is not deserving description.  Perhaps it’s something more valuable and less daunting  and maybe when I get on the other side of this unavoidable process I will describe it as “enlightening”.   With this maturation the usual insecurities are no longer prevalent or able to dominate.  Ironically with the maturation comes knowledge.  The insecurity of God I’m all alone is quickly dismissed  by giving myself the lateral movement  in knowing that everyone has some kind of realization that were not on this planet forever and hell yeah it’s scary to think how fast time flies, and you’re not alone.

Interestingly and maybe not by accident, through Facebook I have reconnected with many school mates from when I was a child.  Past girlfriends that I went steady with while I stumbled through the rights of passage during my infantile journey to learning what love is.  Past enemies of people I feared every day of my life would take me by the scruff of my shirt and pound the living tar out of me as I stepped off the school bus.   I have found these people and have discovered  something in common with all of them.  This unexpected pot of gold is very peaceful and reassuring and quite frankly therapeutic.  We all have one thing in common.

We all got older!!  

And with this age the same thugs that once ruled the small town I grew up in Simi Valley California are now forgiving, peaceful, and nothing like I remember them.  My childhood sweetheart is now a Grandmother.   Some of my past friends did not fare so well and have fallen into harder times and their degraded appearance reflect s the hard lifestyle they ended up on.

I now am entering an area of what I did not know that I did not know.  I did not know the value and reward I am experiencing  that technology has allowed me.  To chat with my past friends is so awesome.  They give me something I don’t know how to explain.   It’s almost as valuable as family.  Maybe more in some ways.  We all know that sometimes it was easier to talk to a friend rather than a family member about  whatever was important at the time.  But what they give me is a sense of investment.

The sense is that we have value in each other because we started out in this wonderful world in the beginning, not knowing what we know now.  So whats the payoff of getting older?

The distinction  that is life is wonderful and overall people are good.