Got Old ?
Nobody wants to get old, but they don’t want to die young either.
(Kieth Richards)
Just yesterday while jogging the same jog I’ve jogged a thousand times, I pulled a muscle in my calf. Yet another reminder my body is generously letting me know its getting older. I say “its” because that’s my way of not owning “me” getting older. So the truth is I’m 56 years old now, and I am having some difficulty owning it. But I’m teaching myself to embrace it. What other choice is there?
Growing older does have it’s perks. Financially things get better. You can afford to do more things. Take vacations, buy big boy toys like trucks and motorcycles, and even a house. All these things I could never do when I was younger.
But what seems to elude me is to know the satisfaction of true love. Will it be too late for me at some point? Where is the end of the line when love is lost?
I am confident that only recently in the past two years, I have I developed enough as a person to really present myself in a way that true love can only now cross my path.
I can honestly say my biggest reward is finally, FINALLY letting go of seeking approval from others. Now I know what getting comfortable in your own skin really means. The things that would tilt me and put me out of order are still there. They present themselves often enough. But now I only offer a faint acknowledgement of what or who may be out to harm me. Intentional or unintentional. What used to be a 72 hour process too include lost sleep, is now a mere nod just enough for me to take the opportunity to recognize projection.
Projection. Now that should be the word of the year. I would say 95% negative actions of others that come to fruition are not even about me. Its something someone is harboring and they want to make you hold it for them for awhile. Yuck. Its disgusting, but in the human sense, forgivable.
Forgiving: Got to have it. Nothing matters on this planet without it.
Got old? Well, maybe this is just another example of an area I need to tighten up. What is old anyways. Really, if getting old gives me 1/2 of the all the things that come with what I am conveying now is my little blot, I will take it.
Its so peaceful to love yourself.
Maybe some of you wont understand why loving yourself needs to be pointed out. Well pat yourself on the back. It probably means mom and dad sent you out the front door to face life with a full tool bag. Not blaming my parents. After all our parents are all doing the best they can and all they truly want on this planet is for their kids to be happy. Especially when mortally starts stepping up.
Get God, Honor Mom, Honor Dad, and stay healthy. See what you can do for others and lose the whats in it for me mentality.
I can tell you personally of the huge payoff by being kind to others.
So I will say that I’m not old. I’m actually just beginning.
– Mike.