THINGS THAT HATE ME

1. SARAN WRAP: If I touch this it sticks to my fingers, the counter it gets bunched up, I cant cut it, I end up throwing 1/4 roll away for anything I try to wrap. t would be the perfect thing to put over left over egg salad in a bowl or maybe to wrap a half used onion in– if only I knew how to use it. I could never get that nice, drum-like seal because I could never get the stupid metal teeth to actually cut the stupid plastic film. Nor can I get the stupid plastic film to stick to anything but its stupid self. And the stupid cardboard box ends up all soft in the middle where the stupid little sticky part that’s supposed to hold the stupid plastic film while you don’t tear it with the stupid metal teeth.

Jumble of wire clothes hangers isolated on white background

2. HANGERS: If I touch one hanger it snags 2 others, those three hangers snag 4 more, I get frustrated and end up with 5 bent or snapped hangers and tend to pull at my hair while saying some very bad words.

3. STREET PARKING: The first hour I park on public parking I’m attacked. Two cars will box me in where I have to do a 18 point maneuver to get out.

4. TRASH DAY: Every trash day when I come home from work I’m on a trash can Easter hunt. I always find my plastic can 7 houses down running with the wind.

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