Perception Is Not “What Is”

Years ago I can remember when I did not have the distinction that my perception and “what is real” were two different things.

Generally there are two reactions to that sentence you just read above.

(1). What?  Of course it’s not!

(2).  Oh.. yep.. I know what you mean.

Be happy if you had either reaction, and be humble if your reaction was number (1).  If your reaction was number 1 then its a good chance you left your house when you became a young man or woman with a pretty good tool-bag to handle the worlds day to day challenges.  You can thank your Parents for that because they are almost solely responsible to that.  Good parenting will fill your tool-bag up.

Now I feel like I need to clarify something.  If your reaction was number 2,  then that does not mean you did not have “good” parents, and you would hold that against them (that would be “blame” and I have a whole separate blog for that nasty little game).  Your parents may not have sent you out the door with a full tool-bag when you became an adult, but they did the best they knew how.  So you can love and appreciate them just the same.  After-all, believe it or not, parents only want one thing for their kids, and that is to be happy and successful.

If your stuck somewhere in the middle of this fact of life, then I have an exercise for you.  If you don’t know where perception ends and reality begins you can try this.

Right this second you see yourself as a certain way.  Its in this way that you probably believe that other see you.  Therefore your perception of how you see yourself as others see you is your reality.  You want to find out?  Be careful what you ask for, but here is how you can find out.

But first we have to quantify what is reality.  Its difficult to put a formula to something that you may think “just is” but its really quite simple.  I promise you will be able to wrap your mind around this.

There is something called “consensus of agreement”.  How do you find this?  Simple.

Make a list of 5 questions about yourself.  Find 10 people and ask them each the exact same 5 questions about you.  You must ensure they answer the questions painfully honest and not pull any punches.  DO NOT let them know that you are asking anyone else , and tell them to please not discuss it with others.  You want to be sure you get a pure answer.

Then once you get your list of answers, compare them.  Note the ones that are the same from different people you questioned.  You will find one or two answers that appear on each and every list.  That is a “consensus of agreement” and therefore that is YOUR REALITY.  That’s how people see you weather its true according to you or not, does not matter.  Its reality.

Warning.  Make sure you understand that this tool may not produce the results you want to hear, but if you are strong enough, you will take your new distinction on how people see you and now have the ability to do something about it.  Before you did not have the distinction so you did not know there was anything to adjust, but now you do and that’s a wonderful thing.

So THATS how I learned “My Perception does not mean Reality”